On freedom
The Sexual Revolution of the 1960s promised to usher in a new era of tolerance, freedom, and liberated attitudes that would break the mold and untether sex from the weight of cultural and religious traditions. The mantra of Free Love seemed innocent enough, like following a yellow brick road to some mythical Land of Oz where everyone could fuck freely. But no matter how far we wander, the path always seems to lead us back to the same destination.
Why, in a secular society with widespread access to birth control and abortion, does sex remain so elusive? Why do dating apps, despite their promise of limitless choice, so rarely yield anything meaningful? We live in an age of supposed sexual abundance, but in truth, we are deep in a sex recession. The mirage of endless options has created a paralyzing fear of missing out, dissuading many Singles from choosing a lifelong partner. The paradox of choice has condemned millions of Americans to endless swiping, indecision, and shallow chatter with people incapable of “picking and sticking.”
Sex lies at the core of human existence, so vital that nearly every society has sought to regulate it, developing traditions, rituals, and codes to control its distribution. Strip away those structures and we are left with biology unmasked—primal instincts guiding our desires, frustrations, and hierarchies. Without cultural or religious frameworks, the law of the jungle rules supreme. And like in a flock of chickens, you only need one rooster for every eight to ten hens.
The outcome of the Sexual Revolution? Half of men are effectively locked out of sexual access, while most women end up sharing a small pool of men who rotate through partners. The fallout of the Women's Liberation movement? Women's bodies are devalued to the point where some men feel entitled to a sexual encounter after going 50/50 on a coffee date, while the most attractive young women are incentivized to trade their youth, beauty, and sex appeal like a commodity. And the outcome of trying to reinvent the wheel, to cast aside centuries of conventional wisdom? Not more sex. Not better sex. Today, people are having less sex than ever before.
On this Fourth of July, as we celebrate independence, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, it’s worth considering that not all freedoms deliver what they promise. Some freedoms aren’t worth having—especially when the price is loneliness, detachment, and a bedroom where the fireworks rarely go off.
“Sexual freedom, sexual liberation. A modern delusion. We are hierarchical animals. Sweep one hierarchy away, and another will take its place, perhaps less palatable than the first.”